Separation anxiety with baby: tips for parents
Separation anxiety: why goodbyes are difficult... and normal!
Ah, separation anxiety! That moment when your little treasure clings to you like a mussel to its rock, making you feel like you are the only person on Earth that matters. It's a bit like going on a mission to save the world when you're just... going to work. Or maybe you just need five minutes to go to the bathroom in peace (we get it!).
But don't worry, dear parents: just because your child cries out loud every time you walk through the door doesn't mean he or she will be glued to you forever. Far from it! Separation anxiety is a normal part of early childhood development. We explain to you.
Establish a small separation ritual
A kiss, a special song, or even a little dance. This can make the start more predictable and therefore less scary for your child... and let's be honest, a little dance first thing in the morning boosts morale!
A routine and off you go
It reassures them, gives them a framework and even guides you as parents. If your schedules and rituals are the same, it will give them a sense of security. They will know that you are leaving, but more importantly, that you are always coming back. They will know what to expect.
A stuffed toy for the road
If your child has a stuffed toy or transition object, make sure they have it on hand. This companion can be a small comfort in these times of separation. At the nursery, you will surely be advised to have an object with your scent or that of the house to reassure your toddler.
A quick but gentle start
Extending goodbyes can sometimes make anxiety worse. Keep it short, sweet, and confident. A playful “See you later, my love”, one last kiss, and presto, let's go! We'll even tell you a little secret, babies tend to stop crying once you go through the door.
Each situation is temporary
While it can be heartbreaking to leave your child in tears, remember that this phase doesn't last forever. As time goes on, these difficult times will get easier for both of you. And before you know it, your little one will say goodbye to you.
So, breathe, trust the process, the early childhood professionals around it, and your baby. Remember that you are a family, united by love. And at the end of the day, this joyful reunion will remind you how precious these moments spent together are... even after a small separation.
The Charlie Crane Team
Why the heartbreaking goodbyes?
Separation anxiety usually starts at 8 months or earlier. During this developmental period, babies often show more distress when they are away from the person who provides them with daily care, comfort and nourishment, namely their parents. This feeling of insecurity can be exacerbated if the separation occurs in an unknown place, as toddlers instinctively seek the tranquility that comes from familiar faces and environments.
As this phase progresses, the baby who welcomed everyone with smiles may now show a more reserved and sometimes even fearful attitude when dealing with unfamiliar faces. This phenomenon is often referred to by specialists as the “fear of the stranger.”
As memory and reasoning skills change, your baby starts to predict certain situations. He expects events to go as usual, which is why he may express discomfort when one of his parents moves away.
Basically, your child has spent months building a universe where you are the star, the center of this small world. So when you disappear from that set, even for a short time, it's as if the main scene of their movie is falling apart. Tears and screams are their way of saying: “Don't forget me! “
How can goodbyes get a little less dramatic?
So that your little hearts don't break every time you separate, here are some ideas to ease your separation anxiety.
